“Hey,” said Shadow. “Huginn or Muninn, or whoever you are.”
The bird turned, head tipped, suspiciously, on one side, and it stared at him with bright eyes.
“Say ‘Nevermore,’” said Shadow.
“Fuck you,” said the raven.”—Neil Gaiman- American Gods (via notreallymyname)
“I think that if life separates us and we end up in totally different places, we’ll always remember when our paths aligned for this period of time and I’ll be thankful for that. and I hope that wherever you are, you’ll be thankful, too. and I think that’s the best we can wish for.”—Josh (Philip Wang, ‘Strangers, again’)
Autism Speaks is probably the most well-known charity out there when it comes to autism. Just because they have the most media coverage and celebrity support does not mean they are a good organization.
Autism Speaks does not have a single autistic member on their…
You want to say Hi to the cute girl on the subway. How will she react? Fortunately, I can tell you with some certainty, because she’s already sending messages to you. Looking out the window, reading a book, working on a computer, arms folded across chest, body away from you = do not disturb. So, y’know, don’t disturb her. Really. Even to say that you like her hair, shoes, or book. A compliment is not always a reason for women to smile and say thank you. You are a threat, remember? You are Schrödinger’s Rapist. Don’t assume that whatever you have to say will win her over with charm or flattery. Believe what she’s signaling, and back off.
If you speak, and she responds in a monosyllabic way without looking at you, she’s saying, “I don’t want to be rude, but please leave me alone.” You don’t know why. It could be “Please leave me alone because I am trying to memorize Beowulf.” It could be “Please leave me alone because you are a scary, scary man with breath like a water buffalo.” It could be “Please leave me alone because I am planning my assassination of a major geopolitical figure and I will have to kill you if you are able to recognize me and blow my cover.”
On the other hand, if she is turned towards you, making eye contact, and she responds in a friendly and talkative manner when you speak to her, you are getting a green light. You can continue the conversation until you start getting signals to back off.
The fourth point: If you fail to respect what women say, you label yourself a problem.
There’s a man with whom I went out on a single date—afternoon coffee, for one hour by the clock—on July 25th. In the two days after the date, he sent me about fifteen e-mails, scolding me for non-responsiveness. I e-mailed him back, saying, “Look, this is a disproportionate response to a single date. You are making me uncomfortable. Do not contact me again.” It is now October 7th. Does he still e-mail?
Yeah. He does. About every two weeks.
This man scores higher on the threat level scale than Man with the Cockroach Tattoos. (Who, after all, is guilty of nothing more than terrifying bad taste.) You see, Mr. E-mail has made it clear that he ignores what I say when he wants something from me. Now, I don’t know if he is an actual rapist, and I sincerely hope he’s not. But he is certainly Schrödinger’s Rapist, and this particular Schrödinger’s Rapist has a probability ratio greater than one in sixty. Because a man who ignores a woman’s NO in a non-sexual setting is more likely to ignore NO in a sexual setting, as well.
So if you speak to a woman who is otherwise occupied, you’re sending a subtle message. It is that your desire to interact trumps her right to be left alone. If you pursue a conversation when she’s tried to cut it off, you send a message. It is that your desire to speak trumps her right to be left alone. And each of those messages indicates that you believe your desires are a legitimate reason to override her rights.
For women, who are watching you very closely to determine how much of a threat you are, this is an important piece of data.
Can every one of my male followers read this? And please, before you get defensive (“I would never rape anyone!”) keep in mind, women being afraid of Shrodinger’s Rapists (oh my god i still can’t get over the encompassing brilliance of this phrase) is a conditioned, learned response from being immersed in rape culture and the evolution of sexism and sexual violence in our society from the day we’re born. And unfortunately, it’s very difficult to unlearn without the efforts of all genders to dismantle it. Which is where you come in.
A dramatic Shakespearean response to every situation
When something bad happens:
True is it that we have seen better days.
When something REALLY bad happens:
O woe! O woeful, woeful, woeful day! Most lamentable day. Most woeful day That ever, ever I did yet behold! O day, O day, O day! O hateful day! Never was seen so black a day as this.O woeful day! O woeful day!
When people say that something is wrong because the Bible says so:
The Devil can cite scripture for his purpose.
When my girlfriend abandons me for food:
FRAILTY, THY NAME IS WOMAN!
When someone doesn't thank me for holding the door open for them:
BLOW, BLOW, BLOW, THOU WINTER WIND! THOU ART NOT SO UNKIND AS MAN'S INGRATITUDE!
When I burn something while cooking:
MY CAKE IS DOUGH!
When human stupidity frustrates me:
LORD, WHAT FOOLS THESE MORTALS BE!
When someone says I'm going to hell for my sins:
NYMPH, IN THY ORISONS BE ALL MY SINS REMEMBER'D.
When I'm broke:
My pride fell with my fortunes
When someone turns the light on after a period of darkness and blinding light ensues:
OH, SHE DOTH TEACH THE TORCHES TO BURN BRIGHT!
When someone disagrees with me:
THERE ARE MORE THINGS IN HEAVEN AND EARTH, HORATIO, THEN ARE DREAMT OF IN YOUR PHILOSOPHY.
When I argue with my girlfriend:
The course of true love never did run smooth.
When I'm embarrassed:
MUST I HOLD A CANDLE TO MY SHAMES?!
Someone says "Good Night":
Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.